The contest due date for the novella is March 31st. So I’ve got about a week now to finish. There are no off days now. No whiny excuses. I’ve got a week to get this done and sent and I’m not going to procrastinate and wait for the clock to run out. I’m also not working a certain amount of time. i.e. I’m not putting in my time for the day, then I’m done. I’m doing as much as I can do each day and still be producing work worth having done. I’m not going to run myself ragged so what I produce is crap, but I’ve got to get this finished. I may or may not be updating the progress ticker on the right. Not updating doesn’t mean I’m not working. I need to get this out the door and get back to work on SMS.

Whining time is over. My life just isn’t going to go in the direction I want it to go as long as I’m making excuses, with the writing in particular. In the past 8 weeks I’ve lost 10 pounds. All of it fat (because I’m firming up as well.) There is a large level of self discipline at work here. I don’t make excuses about my eating. I eat as clean as possible and watch quantities except one day a week when I get a cheat meal. I’m very focused in on the nutrition thing right now. There’s an old saying that you can’t out train poor nutrition, and I take that very much to heart. I especially take it seriously because I felt like crap eating all the processed junk I used to eat. I’m working out 5 days a week, about an hour each day. I don’t make excuses. I just get my butt upstairs to the gym. I literally can’t remember the last time I skipped a workout (not counting the several days I was lying around crying cause of the pulled muscle.) This level of dedication has produced the results I’m starting to see and feel. It’s also started to boost my confidence level some in other areas of my life. Seeing myself achieving this is opening my mind to what else is possible for me.

A lot of people think losing weight and getting in shape is this impossible mountain to climb. And I’m doing it. If I can do that, I can bloody well do the damn writing thing. So I’m looking to invest the same level of self discipline into my writing, as I am into my nutrition and fitness.

I used to do half-assed workouts. And I got half-assed results. When I stopped doing things half-assed, I started seeing real differences. I think it’s the same with the writing. As long as I allow fear of failure to make me go half-assed will be the length of time my results will match. I have absolutely no reason to bitch about why I’m no farther than I am in my goals. No one is going to beat a path to my door and beg me to send my writing to them. I am currently 100% responsible for my current status. When I’m writing every day, and sending things out consistently and it’s still not happening, THEN I can say it’s not my fault.

I get that it takes time. I get that rejection is a part of it. I’ve never been confused on those points. I’ve never had unrealistic ideas or expectations about those parts. What I’m addressing right now is my lack of dedication to the craft I’ve chosen to pursue. That part is my responsibility. And until I own it, I will continue to be in the place I am right now. And it won’t have anything to do with “luck” or “takes time.” There is no time clock that runs down to eventual success when you aren’t doing the work.