I’m classing this as an “emo post” simply because the above phrase is pretty damn emo. Very melodramatic. I’ve gone around in circles for awhile now. I didn’t finish college. I didn’t finish college because I saw no point in it at the time. I see a point in it now, but it’s not the original point that most people see in it. If that makes sense. I see college as a wonderful activity for enriching who you are as a person and gaining a status symbol.

Education is it’s own status symbol now. You can be just as informed as a college grad, but in the end, no one will consider you informed if you don’t have the piece of paper. In some ways it’s a bit of a racket. The knowledge isn’t considered truly gleaned unless it’s come through the institution first. How Orwellian of them. I’m not against education by any stretch of the imagination. It’s just…being in the information age, I truly have access to any information I could learn in a college setting. Only it wouldn’t help me get a job.

And that’s what it comes down to…and why I didn’t finish college. Because I didn’t want a job. It’s not that I’m lazy. It’s that I have no desire to work on someone else’s clock doing something that is of little to no personal value to me. My work has to mean something. I can’t be a cog in a wheel or a little worker bee happy because I’ve got my regular little paycheck and can now keep up with the Jones’s, the Smith’s or whichever common name is en vogue now.

So I’ve got this new writing mentality. I’ve got the current luxury of not having to make money while still not having to live under a bridge. But making your own money is an important part of adulthood. Being financially dependent on others sucks. Even if you aren’t just lying around the house doing nothing.

I’m not saying I’ll never again have a “real job” (or a real “mcjob”) I very well may. And I fully intend to finish college, racket be damned. Because I want the status symbol that comes with it. But for right now, I feel like I have to pour all my energy into this “writing thing.” I don’t know if I can make money writing, because I’ve never really tried it. Now granted, fiction writing is really hard to make a good amount of money in.

That’s fine. I’m not just open to that. I’ll do my fiction work every day, but I’ll write for regular magazines, newspapers, trade magazines, I could self syndicate a column, write for small businesses, do web content, create informational booklets/ebooks. I’ve got this long-ass list somewhere. Basically there are about a million ways to make SOME money writing that aren’t just “fiction.” I’ve had small businesses in the past and I’m well acquainted with the concept of “multiple profit centers.” I’m willing to do any and all of them.

What I haven’t been willing to do up to this point, is put all my energy into making it happen. I’ve been compiling notes and plans for a few years now off and on. Looking at the feasibility of such a plan. Everything I’ve ever done in my life to make money has been motivated by: “So I can write.”

And yet I have tons of well laid out and detailed ideas for making money with my pen and I haven’t delved into them, why? Because I’ve been playing it safe. Now I find myself in a situation where no part of me will let me do anything BUT the writing. My body’s gone mutinous and thrown panic attacks and crap at me every time I try to do something else but what I’m supposed to be doing. So I’ve just decided to stop fighting against the tide here.

It would be one thing if I needed to get an “outside job” in order to make ends meet. It wouldn’t be wise to allow myself to live under a bridge, but I’ve been afforded an opportunity to make something happen here with the writing. If for whatever reason it doesn’t fly, I can always get a Mcjob later.

So I’ve decided to go for it. I’m so tired of sitting around, “waiting for the day” What the hell am I waiting for? I’m not going to get writing experience without just getting in there, getting some clips and getting my hands dirty. I don’t have to “make a living” doing this, but I’m pretty damn sure I can make “something” doing it. Even if it ends up amounting to just “spending money.” I can deal with that.