apologizing

How many of us are apologizing for what we’re writing?

I think a lot of us.

This is common in the romance genre especially. We’ve got this ingrained masochism. We’re writing romance, but we feel like we have to apologize to everybody and their brother about it.

“What do you do?”

“Oh, I’m a writer.”

*fascinated* “Oh really, what do you write?”

*mumbles* “I write romance, but it’s not cheesy like what you’re thinking.”

When someone asks me, I say: “I write paranormal romance.” And I stare them in the eyeballs until they look away first.

If I’m feeling really frisky I also tell them I write erotica, and watch them squirm. Hey, they asked, I told. Do you apologize?

 

I’m in trouble

Damn am I in trouble. I always fall for my villains. Well not always, always. But always enough that it’s more than a statistical anomaly. Getting into their head I know why they do what they do. To me, except for a few exceptions they’re not villains so much as “pre-heroes.”

I mean Luc, one of my heroes was totally evil 500 years ago. But he’s the good guy now. So why not Cain? Why can’t Cain reform? There was some good in him, deep down.

Now I’m falling a little bit for my new bad guy, Linus. Don’t get me wrong, I love the hero, Anthony, but I still have a little thing going for Linus on the side. I need therapy.

Though what I would tell the therapist I have no idea. “I fall for bad vampires, and they distract me sometimes from the good vampires.” (or incubi if we’re talking about Cain and Luc.) That would get me a big fat prescription for the happy fun drugs.

 

Disney mice and mixed mythologies

Have you ever wondered why the Cinderella mice are so tiny and Mickey is so big? Is he a giant among mice? Is he getting medical treatment for this? Can’t they get that “honey I shrunk the kids” guy to shrink him down to normal mouse size? Is he discriminated against for being so giant? How on earth did he find Minnie? These are the little mysteries of life I wonder about.

I have two very different vampire mythologies. One of them exists in the KEPT-verse and another of them is a stand alone novel called PLEASANT GROVE that I may never fix and untangle enough to submit but that I really love anyway.

So I have two different sized mice. It’s a little weird…but hey, Walt did it. Anybody else?

 

In a world…where generic meets what we already did last year

I just saw a preview for a totally unremarkable fantasy film. So unremarkable in fact that I can’t tell you five seconds after watching it, what the name of the film was. It started… “In a world…” With that standard male voice-over that’s trying to sound important. It included phrases like: “Where good…and evil…” And it may have finished that sentence with “collide.” Is there any movie anymore where “good and evil” don’t “collide?” Why can’t good and evil “tangle” or get into a “rumble?” Why must they always collide now?

For once I’d love to see a preview where the voice-over says something like: “Where good…and evil…join together to fight an even worse foe…” Then at least I’m semi-intrigued by the vagueness and I’m thinking: “Well damn, what’s worse than evil? Isn’t that pretty all inclusive?”

And of course there is that rousing epic background music we’ve heard so many times it’s no longer epic. It’s almost intentionally vague like either we aren’t worthy to hear the actual plot up front without paying $10 to go see the movie, or it’s so bad, they have to be vague to get us to pay $10 to go see the movie.

And I’m sitting here thinking, how is it that anyone is going to see this movie with this kind of preview? Aren’t we all jaded by the “In a world” voice-over movie preview yet? Why are marketers acting like we’re all morons with a drool cup? Or people with short term memory loss who can’t remember that last summer’s blockbusters had these exact same previews with different images and maybe, though not necessarily, different background music.

It’s not like I expect a totally original move preview. I mean we live in such an information rich society almost nothing is novel to anyone. We’re all pretty jaded. But what I expect is, at the very least emotional honesty. But that seems to be too much to ask.

I really think we’re undergoing a business and entertainment revolution. Where wal-mart is slightly less glossy and shiny. And we no longer ooooh and aaaah over every blockbuster anymore. There are still a few mainstream movies, TV shows, songs, etc. that overdeliver. LOST comes to mind. But a lot of what we’re seeing is really bad and uninspired.

The playing field is leveling where our options are not just to be entertained by the few people well-funded enough to provide us with entertainment. The independent guy gets a chance. Indie movies, indie music, tiny businesses where customer service and dealing with real people is king.

I absolutely believe Earl Newton is the next Joss Whedon. Though hopefully he won’t make some of the same business mistakes.

I hesitate to include writers in the indie revolution, but maybe that’s true too. Scott Sigler was a complete unknown before he started his podcast. Not everybody knows him yet. But this guy is the next Stephen King almost guaranteed and it’s because he can write, and he knows how to connect with people and get his message to the people. And when the people get the message it sure as hell doesn’t start with the words: “In a world…”

 

The problem as I see it

I think most unpublished authors see “the problem” as “getting a publisher” but the real problem is getting readers once published. Like most writers, I’m a reader. I have a list of authors I’ve come to love and whose writing I trust to deliver to me the reading experience I want.

Some of those authors I discovered because they were just so big and famous I had to be living under a rock NOT to discover them. Like Stephen King or JK Rowling. And actually I read JKR because everyone was saying she was evil and demon possessed. PR is PR and sometimes even bad PR intrigues a reader enough to pick up your book.

Some authors were recommended by friends who share similar likes. A couple now have been from online communications. I would have never read a book by Rachel Caine or Erica Orloff, if not for their blogs. I stumbled across Cynthia Eden before I found her blog, from the Secrets anthologies.

I was in Rachel’s nanowrimo LJ group. She’s a likable person who comes off as someone who genuinely wants to help other writers and who loves what she does. Erica is the same way. Without this interaction and likability factor these writers would be “strangers” to me. And I probably wouldn’t pick up their books. Why should I, out of all the books to pick from?

I think you really want to get past the “strangers” stage to build a readership. And that’s the point of a blog. Not because every other writer is doing it and it’s “expected” by publishers now, but because you’re trying to connect with people who are in some way like you, who then might make the step to pick up something you’ve written and take a chance on you. And who if they like you, because of that small online connection, are more likely to recommend you to their friends than someone who discovered you in a less interactive way.

The other authors I’ve picked up had really fabulous covers that intrigued me, followed by back copy that intrigued me and a first page that made the sale. If I wasn’t absolutely grabbed by the first page, it was no dice. Sometimes by the first paragraph. As I write this I realize my novella that’s “out there” right now, could have a much better opening paragraph. Should it come back to me, it will be getting one, because I don’t want to stand in my own way.

 

Here’s a fun video:

Sometimes I get a wild hair to watch Buffy fan videos on youtube (yes I’m a sad sad person.) Now before anyone freaks out about copyrights and blah blah blah, people who write fanfic or make fanart are in no way making money from what they’re doing, and it could be argued that part of what keeps the fan factory running and makes continued merchandising, comic books, etc. even possible in things like the buffy fandom (since the show is long over and the only thing keeping the machine running IS the fans) is this level of dedication from the fans, and creating new stories with the characters for free fan consumption as well as things such as the following video. It’s practically viral marketing that nobody had to pay for. (Anyway that’s my mini rant on why fanfic and fanvids and fanart aren’t evil.)

As for music used in fanvids, not sure how to class that. I do know it’s pretty hard for the average person to figure out how to convert a youtube video into music they can steal and put on their MP3 player. I also know more money is made in the music industry from the tours and merchandising then will ever be made from the CDs themselves. With things like itunes, it’s no problem now to hop over and buy a song you really like. There are songs I never would have heard if not for a youtube video. Songs which I would purchase and put on my ipod.

I do wonder if we’re going to go totally digital/MP3 players with music. Because CDs have all these protections on them where you can’t rip your own music that you bought to your own computer for the purpose of putting it on your own ipod to listen to it. That’s all under fair use and should be allowed for your own music. Of course the deterrent is there to try to keep people from sharing music online. But no one likes it when they can’t move their own stuff to a different format. And it’s not IMO fair to profit from someone twice selling them a CD AND MP3’s. I’m really not sure CDs are gonna hang around that much longer given all this. CDs have become clunky and annoying and most people don’t want the whole CD anyway.

Sorry, got off track there…anyway…

If you ever have fanfic or fanart made about your work it means you’ve arrived, so in my opinion, writers who HAVE arrived in this way should be grateful their work has inspired such fervor and be gracious about it. Most people never see that much success. It seems deeply petty to complain about it. By that point you’re making enough money you can afford to be gracious. And the bonus is that the fans in some sense start running your promotion for you because it goes viral.

And being supportive of your own fans (to a degree) is great PR. Building further good will.

Anyway, I found this video the other night and really thought it was cute. The clips match the words and beat really well:

U.G.L.Y Buffy Bad Guys FanVid

 

The Other Boleyn Girl

A few weeks ago we rented “The Other Boleyn Girl.” Well I should clarify and say *I* rented “The Other Boleyn Girl.” Tom said he wasn’t into historical romances. How the main chick getting her head chopped off by order of her husband is considered a romance, only a man could understand. And frankly such a man scares me…but I married him, so I digress.

So he was doing his computer-y thing and I was watching my movie. It was fantastic and I’m definitely reading the book. This gave a completely new angle to the Henry VIII saga. Mary Boleyn (Anne’s sister) has always had such a small footnoted place in history. She was a lover of Henry VIII, believed to have had up to two of his children, and was sister of Anne Boleyn. And that’s all history tells us? Are they freaking kidding?

There are stories there. And though “The Other Boleyn Girl” is historical fiction, I would not be at all surprised if it’s closer to the actual facts than most “based on a true story” movies we see now. There is a difference in “the exact facts” and “the true story.”

At the end of the day no one really cares the exact words that were exchanged. (Unless we’re in a court of law where such measures of precision are vital.) What we care about is the essence, the basic truth. So this was what confused me about “The Other Boleyn Girl” being considered historical fiction. I kept waiting for the “fiction” part, because as far as I’m concerned the story was true in every way that matters to people.

Sometimes I wonder if we get so caught up in a “just the facts, Ma’am” mentality that we can’t remember why we wanted the facts in the first place. Especially since sometimes “just the facts” obscures the truth, as it seems to have done for centuries in the case of Mary Boleyn and her sister.

 

Switching gears while maintaining progress

I love business. Which probably isn’t true of a lot of writers. Most writers just want to create and hate the marketing/promotion side. I love the business side of most things, I just have to figure out what I’m promoting and how I’ll do it in ways that aren’t psychotically annoying. No one likes constant self-promotion that doesn’t add value to their own lives. It’s like people who go to large loops for the sole purpose of promotion. It’s ineffective.

But I love business. I love words like “fiscal year” and “profit and loss statements.” Which might make me slightly crazy. But it’s just all very sexy to me. Right now I’m looking into some long tail ways of earning some money. Since I’m obviously not cut out for working for someone else, and have current obstacles blocking my way, I may as well spend my time building something of my own. Rather than sitting around whining and moping about things I can’t do. (Most of the things I can’t do are things that in a perfect world where I could do whatever I wanted, I wouldn’t choose to do anyway, so I don’t know why I’m whining. Perhaps this is opportunity.)

If I had started 2 years ago, I would have something to show for it now. It’s the “long tail” part of it that makes it overwhelming. But this is not unlike the whole weight loss thing I just did. It was very long tail. Because I didn’t starve myself or workout like a ninja or deprive myself of every food I love, it took a very long time. What made me buckle down and do it was that I realized the time would pass whether I lost the weight or not. And a year or two from then I could be where I wanted to be or I could still be where I was.

So that’s where I am right now. The time will pass whether I do anything with it or not. I can sit 2 or 3 years from now still with very little accomplishment to show for my life so far, or I can buckle down and take the small steps necessary to build something. Writing is a long tail game obviously but it’s not the only thing I’m interested in, and I’m thinking in terms of several small income streams. Because to me, it’s the one person business model that makes the most sense. When you diversify your income you create something that is much more stable over the long term.

I’ve done some small business-y things before. Had some small success, and then some failure or quitting. Though I don’t believe they were pointless wastes of time. I learned things that I can apply to my next attempt. And I also learned, that had I stuck with it, I would have been more successful over the long term, because I would have solved problems and figured out new ways to do things. If you can get one customer/client (and make them a satisfied customer/client), you can get more. It’s only a matter of how. What I’m learning is that almost anything worth doing or having is a long tail game. Weight loss, business, writing, strong relationships. So it’s pointless to look for instant gratification.

So I’m in that exciting business planning stage, where I’m getting ideas and making notes and trying to work out problems. Some of what I’m learning will be vital to the business side of my writing as well. But writing and editing are one of my primary concerns on a daily basis. Because becoming a successful author is a major goal for me.

One of my challenges is how to manage the various things I’ve got going on. The largest benefit I have going is, daily time. Not having a full time job tying me up, I can get far more accomplished, assuming I treat this as a full time job. And considering there are novelists with full time real world jobs this is encouraging. It’s all a matter of time management.

Right now I’m trying to do my writing/editing first, then do the other business-y type stuff. Because once I get into business mode it’s hard to pull me out. Though it can be the same with writing itself. It’s hard for me to shift gears in one day from full on business mode to writing mode, so I might try splitting my work up according to the day. Certain days I’ll write, certain days will be more business oriented.

What things besides writing do you juggle and how do you switch gears and keep forward momentum?

 

The fluctuating meaning of words

Words all obviously have their meanings. All we have to do is hop over to dictionary.com to find any of them. And in fact, anytime I use a “big” or “sophisticated” word, I tend to go make sure that I’m actually using it right, so I don’t look like a big goober. It’s not that I’m trying to “look smart” I just don’t want to “look dumb” by being wrong when I can check it.

But it’s not always so simple. Sometimes words are words we made up, or sarcastic words, or joking words, or sarcastic joking words. And it depends very much on the person saying them, who they’re saying them to, and the foundational relationship of those two people. Inside jokes fit very well inside this motif, but it’s not just jokes.

People in close relationships tend to develop their own special kind of language that people on the outside won’t necessarily get unless they know both people. This was illustrated to me the other day.

I’ve lost maybe 45 pounds since my heaviest weight. I’m now very healthily back in the normal BMI category and much closer to feeling like “me” again. One of my closest friends who was here mostly for the “fat years” has relabeled me in her cell phone. My new name that pops up when I call is, “Itty Bitty McSkinnypants.”

I told one of my online friends about it. And he says: “Sounds like someone is jealous.” Then it occurs to me. Maybe it would sound like that to people who don’t know Lisa. Lisa isn’t a jealous person. And she makes up goofy words and names for everyone and everything. While from some women it might be jealousy, from Lisa, it’s affirmation, and it’s funny as hell.

 

Lowering expectations.

Right now my writing to do list reads like this: Blog, 2 chapters of SMS edits, 1,000 words of CLAIMED, research agents.

But some days that just looks too overwhelming. The blog part is never a problem for me. I’m just talking on my blog, and I’ve got about 10 posts in the queue ready right now should I have a day with nothing to say, and really what are the odds of that? What usually ends up happening instead is, I have some posts that never get posted.

But when it comes to edits and rough draft, some days it feels like a lot. I had one of those days the other day. So I thought…”I can mope about it and not get anything done, or I can lower my expectations and keep moving forward.”

So that’s what I did. I lowered my edit requirements to 1 chapter, and my CLAIMED words to 500. I ended up doing 2 chapters of SMS edits and 561 words of CLAIMED.

Sometimes I think we take an all or nothing approach. We have this amount of work to do and if we can’t do it today we suck. But we all have natural rhythms and some days it really is hard to make the quota we’ve set for ourselves. Other days we can just go and go. Like the day I edited 4 chapters, and wrote 2200 words. I was going like gangbusters that day.

In the end I think it all evens out. As long as we keep moving forward.